Here is another little nugget from the book I'm reading, Too Small To Ignore.

Here we have forgotten that there really is no higher calling than to raise a child. We tend to do a lot for our children but not nearly enough with our children.

This really hit home with me and I thought I would give my perspective on this. Having an only child for twelve years made it "easy" and more "convenient"to do everything for my daughter. You know what I'm talking about. Pick out her clothes, brush her hair, make her bed (if I want it presentable for some reason, like a guest coming over. Because Lord knows I don't really care otherwise. After all, it's not my bed). I remember dressing Al (up until she was six-years-old!) because it was just quicker and heaven forbid I'm delayed another five minutes! So when sixth grade came around I expected Al to be more responsible than she was. Why couldn't she pack her own lunch? Why couldn't she scramble an egg for crying out loud? Why did her hair seem to still stick out in all sorts of funky directions? Why did she not know how to operate the clothes dryer or know how to iron a shirt? The obvious answer is because I did everything for her. Not only did I do a lot of those tedious tasks for her but I also made sure that she never missed a tap class, soccer practice or any other extra curricular activity. It is so easy to hop on the Super Mom train.

Fast forward to present day and I'm now face to face with Miss Independent. At three-and-a-half, Aleyah wants to do everything on her own. I can't help her put her clothes on, brush her teeth or even wipe her bottom (don't worry, I make sure to wipe the bum and assist her with her teeth). My point is this little girl from Gedeo, Ethiopia no doubt did many things on her own. She is definitely not helpless in certain areas almost to a fault. We fight daily when it comes to picking out clothes. With Alexa, I picked what I wanted her to wear for the day and continued through most of the sixth grade. Call me a control freak, I guess. Alexa just went with it and never complained. The other day I was busy with Aleyah and Alexa asked if I could iron her shirt. "No," I said. "I think you're old enough to do it now." Alexa says, "Well how do I do it?" I thought for a split second about just doing it for her but thought better of it. Yes it would be quicker, but when would she actually learn how to use an iron. It took five minutes to show her what to do. I can't say it was a complete success because she did manage to burn herself. Truly.


Now for today's conclusion. I really have spent a lot of time with Alexa. When she first started dance, Steve and I went to evey practice and sat through each one while child after child was dropped off. Same went for soccer. As a matter of fact it was not until Steve started coaching her team that I stayed home from practice. I can honestly say that I haven't missed one track meet either. And for the record, I home schooled her for four years. That is some serious time spent with my daughter. Alexa and I joke about even though we plan Mother/Daughter Day outings, every day really was a Mother/Daughter Day. So why do I feel I could have done a better job? Because I could have. I could have played more often with her Barbies and American Girl Dolls. I could have played house more often. I could have played school more often. I could have spent more time in her little fantasy world. I guess I've been feeling a bit guilty about not spending more play time with her. Haw many times did I say, "Not now," when she asked if I wanted to play school with her. It makes me teary thinking of all the things she did do on her own. She turned out alright but sometimes that wave of guilt consumes me when I think about it.

Thankfully, she is only twelve and there are still so many things we do together now. One of our favorite things to do together is scrapbook. It is fun for us to sit and creatively put our scrapbooks together while talking about girl stuff.

Life with children really is short. Eventually they move on with a family of their own. I want to be sure that when my girls are out of the house I don't look back with regrets. I want to do less for my girls and do more with them. Maybe then, they will look back fondly on all that mom did with them. Play time really does equal Mom time.